Closing in on 4pm. Calls starting and ending. Leaving notes on a lot of different lists, tracking time spent, and sometimes amidst these rituals consciously noticing the amount of different balls juggled the last bunch of days. Staring into pale white clouds for a moment, to let eyes focus on something further away than a pale screen - and the mind unfocus for that short period of time.
3pm and on. Clouds to sun and back again. Weather as a re-occurring topic to bridge inconvenient silence. Weather as an escape to wrap around thoughts in order to keep them away from things worse than that. Also, watching subsystems fail and respawn, with all temporary state vanished. Cautiously nodding, as if to ensure oneself of having understood. Which might not be the case.
3pm and on. Small eyes, spinning head, blinking in a sudden warm light. Wondering why this particular window was left uncleaned, again, yet not feeling any particular motivation to change that right now. Sipping on lukewarm coffee, cautiously filing the ends to remain loose for now. Shaky fingers turning pages.
3pm and on. Caught in between a rock, a hard place and technology. Specifically incrementing by two the count of hours wasted on quirks in a certain collaboration platform. Took stunned note of the surprised, confused administrators face, looking at the brief management dashboard and seeing to happen what shouldn't. Wrestling complexity with blunt tools. Who might eventually win?
3pm between houses and river. Afternoon got brighter, sun brought cold too. Watching one's steps through leaves and meadows, following up on conversations that seem to stand the passing of time. Some things never really change, and maybe in some situations that's a good thing.
3pm, slow motion. The day's lost most of its early warmth. Steps, sounds, moods change the very moment everything starts being covered in leaves. Almost like snow, but without the clean whiteness. Coffee and autumn bread, and pondering whether to get out again. Hours of retreat, in many ways.
5pm and slowly on. Watching, listening listening, learning to understand one's own limitations. A confusing, humbling experience people should go through way more often, to get a sense of individual realities and truths. There's beer and cake with it. An interesting combination but somehow it works out well. Meanwhile, clouds are closing in again. Hoping the next rain will pass by quietly. No wind in the trees today.
Durch den Nachmittag treiben weißgraue Wolken. Es ist wieder drückend und warm geworden zwischen engen Wänden. Überschrittene Zeitfenster, sich langsam auflösende Konzentration. Dazu permanente Zustandswechsel, in stumme Mikrophone sprechen, um nur wenig später versehentlich halb unterdrücktes Grummeln in die Welt zu schicken. Immer noch Störzeichen, Tasten klemmen, seltsame Dinge passieren. Unten kaufen Schulkinder auf dem Heimweg noch einmal Eis, so lang der Laden hinter der Ecke den Schritt in die Winterpause scheut. Nächster Takt, nächster Anruf, es passt noch so einiges an Themen in das heutige Hell.