9am and on. Multitasking, next level: Handling several topics at once in one call. Boundaries constantly blurred, things getting mixed up and entangled in each other. Physical symptoms of nervousness. And the challenge of cautiously refocusing things, while continuously preventing oneself from slipping and falling. (In between, a glimpse of sun in dirty windowblinds.)
Closing in on 9am. Devices missing in the drawer: Noise canceling headphones but for the noises roaring within. Too, ran out of chocolate. Tasks taken over, stage not completely set. Hazy light and the silence of wintry backyard fountains.
Plötzliche Hektik: Sonne schon wieder hinter dem Zenit, verrechnet, Zeit aus den Augen verloren. Bildschirme im Tiefschlaf, volle Taschen, leerer Kopf. Küche, schneller Imbiss, im Stehen. Sinnieren über eigene Filter, Selbstfürsorge, Verständnis. Der Hausmeister telefoniert im Hinterhof, auf der Ecke seines Karrens sitzend, Worte und Sprache klingen entspannt. Gegenüber hängt man Wäsche auf die Leine, drei Balkone über dem Erdboden. Wasser tropft durch Gitter, die Luft fühlt sich weit kälter an, als sie ist. Noch ein Kaffee vor der Einwahl. Konzentrationsübungen. Ruhig genug - auf dem Niveau, das die allgemeine Anspannung zulässt.
Quite past 3pm again. The longer the calls, the weirder that particular moment to hang up, hear conversations fade and that outside world slowly drip back into consciousness. A deep breath. Stretching arms, feeling body is still here and willing to move. Eyes closed, watching colours dance. And eyes opened. A hazy sun. And a bit of blue sky still before dusk is drawing near again.
Closing in on 8am. Pausing ones own flow to sink into the pale dawn blue of the morning sky for a while. Eye contact with the moon, a twinkle and a smile. A slow morning is pouring fog into the backyards between the houses, filled with all the light it collected on its way in. Hours to be brighter than expected, and there's something comforting in this.
📷 lost-in-moments